Inspire…

300 feet. I know you are probably thinking this is another stunt I pulled while driving around Italy, but this time the jokes on me.

In Italy, it’s all about service at the pump. Instead of allowing the auto-motorist to fill up their own vehicle they have decided for safety reasons that trained gas pumpers should do it instead. Therefore, Antonio, while smoking a cigarette, walks up to my car in his greasy overalls and asks for the key to unlock the gas tank. With the distinctive throaty voice of a chain smoker, he asked me “pieno?” (which translates to “fill ‘er up?”) I responded with “si, grazie” and then proceeded inside to purchase a candy bar. After paying the absurd 94€ gas bill, I gave a fair well salute to Mr. Dbag Antonio and headed on my way.

After about 150 feet I made it back on the highway and started to eat my snickers bar when I noticed someone pulling up beside me in the fast lane honking their horn and pointing frantically behind me. I took a look in my rear view mirror and my car had magically turned into a coal burning locomotive. Black smoke was bellowing out from all angles, and started seeping in through the doors. 200 feet out the car lost all functionality and I coasted another 100 feet where I waited till the smoke cleared before I went back to the gas station… Antonio must of missed class on diesel day.

400€ later, I had my car towed to the mechanic and took an hour taxi ride home. Tomorrow I’ll have to sort out how I’m getting my car back…

It is sometimes difficult to distinguish the difference between work and play at National Instruments especially when it involves Designing, Prototyping, and Deploying innovative products that improve everyday life. Last month, I worked with our marketing department here in Italy to decide on a project for my AEs to collaborate on. With BIAS fast approaching (Italy’s largest Automation and Instrumentation tradeshow) at the end of the month we decided to leverage our Programmable Automation Controllers (PAC) to deliver a complete industrial control and automation solution.

I created a video to show the initial design and layout through construction and final completion that resulted in a huge success at the tradeshow. Filippo, the team leader on this project, did a phenomenal job architecting the software and guaranteeing completion in less than 1 month. The other AEs also did a great job working on specific product lines for interconnectivity. This video only shows a small glimpse of the great efforts put forth by the team…

You might notice that we tried to emulate the hit television series ‘Pimp My Ride’ with a special focus on PAC!

I do! I am about to describe to you what is known as ‘Business Class Fakegrade’, not to be mistaken with Upgrade. This technique should not be disclosed to just anyone and be careful who you forward this post to or they might steal the idea.

Step 1) In the Airport

As normal, proceed with checking your bags and passing through security and walk casually to your gate for departure. When boarding ensues this is when you wait till 75% of passengers have boarded and then you make your move to board the plane. You must also have atleast two objects in your hand.
As your walking to find your seat, for every center row that has three empty seats, place an object of yours in one of the seats. Usually, I’ll throw my jacket over the seat for the first set I see, then my briefcase on the second set, and finally I occupy the third.

Step 2) Doubt

I know, I know, you’re probably thinking that “What if someone is sitting where you left your jacket or briefcase?” Well, that’s the genius of probability! If 25% of the passengers are left to board the plane, you currently occupy 3 rows of 3 seats, and the gate closes in less than 10 minutes, then your certainty of success is roughly 92%.

For example, Let’s say someone after you gets on the plane and notices your jacket on their seat. This is when you act oblivious to the situation and allow them to innocently remove your jacket and place it on the seat next to them. This is success #1.

Step 3) Success

Now, for every plan you must have redundancy for backup, and as you have probably already noticed, your briefcase has provided this. Success #2.

Then, another passenger enters the plane and occupies the row you are currently standing in, so you kindly walk to the row your briefcase is occupying.. and the airplane door closes. Success #3!
Now that your laying down in a row of three empty seats you can top it off with some ear plugs and a pillow for a First Class Fakegrade across the Atlantic.

I’m not sure I like to admit this, but I’ve been known to throw a few triple axels in my hay day. That’s right, Jordan Randall is an Ice Skater.. As it appears in the picture below, I almost landed the Nancy Kerrigan’s Blade of Glory… except mine was self inflicted. The land ended uncomfortably… dropping two kids with me. I guess that’s what they get for getting in my way on the kiddy rink. “O’Doyle Rules!”

All and all we had a great time! Chad, a long time buddy of mine from Stillwater, and some coworkers from NI Italy decided to spend the day ice skating to escape the hustle and bustle of big city shoppers making their last minute purchases for Christmas.

Then Chad and I headed up to the Swiss Alps (Cervinia) on Sunday for a little snowboarding and skiing action. The weather was absolutely perfect and we grabbed ourselves a few Bombardinos.

I’m not sure if it was the Bombardino or double black diamond that Chad and I accidentally went down but we got separated on the back side of the mountain and Chad almost ended up spending the night in Zermatt. They close the lifts after 3 pm for skiers to cross back over to the Italian Alps from the Swiss Alps and Chad was about 15 minutes late. Needless to say, we pulled the I’m American Card and got him back across. If you see him sometime, make sure to ask WHY he was 15 minutes late…

2 hours outside of Milan and a few clicks North of Verona, I found myself on a last minute trip to The Dolomites. This was it! The first chance to escape the hustle and bustle of big city life and a rebirth of my mountain man primal instincts. Yeah, that’s what I thought until I forgot the utmost important item when camping… my sleeping bag. Mind you, it was also a nipplely 42°F outside.

After shouting a few choice words at myself, I realized only two options were left. Drive the two hours back to Milan and then make the 3 hour drive back to the Dolomites OR forge on like Jeremiah Johnson and sleep on the hot coals left over from the nights fire. Actually, the coals idea sounded great in theory but in reality trying to bury hot embers a foot underneath your tint is a BAD IDEA. Trust me!

Instead I took every piece of clothing I had in my backpack including the 3 pairs of underwear, curled up in the fetal position, and froze my ass off.

Anyhoo, I made a short video with the only available space left on my memory card and captured some fantastic shots of the Dolomites.

POUNCING through the frosted morning dew of Piemonte, Ringo, our truffle-hunting dog, discovered the knock-your-socks-off, knobby potato shaped truffle we had been anticipating. Ringo darts off into the forest and pauses for a moment… looks at the ground, takes a deep breath, then claws vigorously at the ground. Tirone Angelo, a cheerful old truffle hunter shouts “Dai, Ringo, Dai, Piu Avanti!” and we witnessed the uprooting of a white truffle, or more commonly called GOLD to truffle hunters. These fungal gems on the global market bring upwards of $2000.00 per pound.

Nothing, that is, except for luscious wheat fields, crumpled clay hills and the ribboned vineyards of the Barbera grape, stood in the way of Ringo, Cicho, and Tom, our truffle hunting German short haired pointer dogs. They tactfully perused the dank woods of Moncalvo tirelessly. The sniffed out 4 white and two black truffles in a 2 hour time period. Unfortunately, they were below regulation, and also the rain drought hasn’t helped either. Without rain, the fields are less brittle making it more difficult for the dogs to pick up the scent.

Speaking of scent, you either love it or hate it. Some have assimilated the smell of truffles to primal musk, overripe cheese, or ozone while opponents claim it mimics the male pig sex hormone, and for that reason, female pigs have been used historically for the hunt; however, more recently it seems like most truffle hunters are transitioning to dogs. Tirone, our guide, has 5 dogs born and bred specifically for truffle hunting. They aren’t cheap either; an adult trained German Short-hair would run you around 5G’s. This is only a small investment if you consider a single truffle hunter bringing home around 5 kilos of white truffles a year… 10,000 bucks!

Afterwords, Tizzy and I were fortunate enough to enjoy the Fiera del Tartufo. In the Piemonte region, 1000’s of mushroom, cheese, and wine lovers alike follow the October Fiera across small villages throughout the region. This turned out to be fascinating… yet expensive. Bring your bancomat cause I easily spent 100 Euros on truffles, cheese, tartufo oils, honey, and roasted chestnuts. YUM!

Additional photos can be seen here

Off the coast of Morocco and about 100 miles Southwest of the Sahara Desert, you will find the Canary Islands. My flight in was approximately 9:00 PM and what better place to be than geometrically centered on the zenith for a desert sunset. The phenomena of light scattering by particles of dust in the atmosphere from desert storms created some of the most intense orange and red spectra imaginable.

Once I arrived it was time for 7 days of kitesurfing, scuba diving, and a motocross action.

I stayed at the Melia Gorriones which is about 5 km from Costa Calma and less than 500 meters from the Rene Egli Pro kitesurfing center. Kitesurfing magazines rate this place as one of the top ten hot spots for kiting enthusiasts, and rightly so with its consistent 28 knots of wind perpendicularly offshore. ROCK!

The instructors were cool to hang with, the drinks weren’t bad, and the water temp was perfect. The only negative comment I could make is the price. For a private lesson of kitesurfing you have to pay some exorbanant amount close to 300 euros. Forget that! Unfortunately, I ate the cost to see if it was worth it… it’s not. As I said, the instructors are cool people to hang with but they suck at instructing. There just like any dude off the street who made kitesurfing their hobby. My instructor up and decided to kitesurf himself for the last hour of my 3 hour lesson… not much teaching going on from 10 feet in the air. Oh well, still a fun time.

The island itself is 90% desert with roughly 10 days of rain a year. It also has 3 or 4 volcanoes which we took the Suzuki 4-stroke enduros up the side. I had the bike wrapped out in 3rd gear trying to climb these enormous volcanic sand dunes and it just wasn’t haven it… kept sinking the back tire even though it had paddle tires.

The scuba diving wasn’t the great barrier reef in Australia, but the underwater volcanic remnants were also a site to see. Saw a few stingrays, human-sized grouper, and a manta ray (do not piss it off!).

People ask me if I would visit this place again and I tell them no. With 6 other islands to see in this volcanic origin of the Atlantic, I would rather take my chances on one of those or possibly visit Egypt instead… but nobody knows what the wind blows?!?

If your interested, I put a few more pictures from Fuerteventura here

There is no time better to convene with scores of kindred spirits in the legendary running of the bulls, and muster up enough courage (possibly insanity) to join them down the narrow streets of Pamplona.

Pamplona, Spain in July: Thousands of drunken gringos, thick with morning due, cobblestone streets and, at times, 12 seriously pissed off bulls. And if you’re lucky enough, there’s no better place to be than smack dab in the middle!

See If you can guess (before watching) who said the following quotes: “Were talkin bout 6000 pounds of bull coming right down some Texas a$$”, or “Don’t uh, Don’t wanna be on the outside of that bad boy”, or “We are smack bang in the middle of hell” and finally “absolute carnage”.

Ciao a tutti!

I hope all is well State side! I’ve been really busy at work the past week gearing up for the recruiting season, but you must always make time on the weekends to play! Just last week my belongings from the US finally arrived including my bicycles, unicycle, and kiteboard so I decided to go for a ride. I made the hour drive up to Dervio (Eastern shore of Como) for a little kitesurfing adventure. Dervio is infamous for its strong and steady winds upwards of 20 knots. In Dervio, you can’t miss Kitezoo one of the best windsurfing / kitesurfing shops in Italy. The Friendly staff of 4, Giordano, Costante, Manuela, and Edit will hook you up with all the gear necessary for a successful flight. They even offer boat launches from the center of Como for ideal wind conditions.

Occhio Alla Lingua

After a long day of kiting, I decided to break out the uni and go for a couple rounds!

Per Risparmiare…

Hey everyone,

Just got back from Switzerland for a little adrenaline rushing stomach wrenching canyon jumping excitement! Amanda and Tracy made a trip to see me this past weekend and we took our vacation to the next level. I can’t wait to show everyone the pictures and videos and be sure that I will update everyone as soon as they arrive. For now, feel free to enjoy the short video below containing one of the scariest experiences of my life… CANYON JUMPING!!!